Wednesday, 25 November 2015

How fashion blogging nearly killed my relationship

I've been fielding a fair few enquiries as to when the fashion and style outfit posts might be making a comeback on this blog. Past readers of The Agoraphobic Fashionista seem to have gotten attached to those posts, more-so than I had ever expected or appreciated.

The thing is... they won't be making a return. Not in the way they were previously done because those posts nearly killed off my relationship with my husband.

How?

In a number of ways...

How fashion blogging nearly killed my relationship, is fashion blogging real, fashion blog, The Agoraphobic Fashionista, The Style Guide Blog


My husband became my photographer

It is extraordinarily difficult to try and coax an interest in fashion photography out of someone who clearly has absolutely no interest. He was a good sport in the initial stages but the novelty wore off very quickly and we found ourselves bickering our way through every single ''photo shoot'' for the blog. I had a vision in mind for my photos and himself is more a point and click sort. We clashed. A lot.


My husband became a Stylist's Assistant (kind of...)

Himself, with no interest in style or fashion, who wears a uniform of a band t shirt and a pair of jeans, was catapulted into the role of being my assistant. It's grand to ask your fella for advice on the odd Friday / Saturday night outfit combo but each and every post outfit? Let's just say it led to a few frustrated outbursts, from both parties. We simply were not coming from the same style place. Anything he thought looked amazing, well... I did not. Shall we leave that there? I think so!


My husband became my dresser

Due to health issues, this is my husband's sometime job anyway but with brands kindly sending pieces out to me and the posts piling up, it soon became a case of having to it a lot more frequently than anyone had anticipated. It laid my self esteem and worth low and I'm sure he is now grateful for the break!


My confidence bottomed out

Here's the thing... When you post photos of yourself online you are always opening the door to criticism whether you like it or not. Everyone has something to say. A lot of the time it will be comments on the actual outfit you're wearing in that post but sometimes it gets personal. I've had my appearance and looks ripped to shreds over the years and it does niggle at you. From my chunky ankles to my big arse, being too pale and general ''U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi'' comments, I've had them all. As a rule of thumb I didn't and never will publish the personal insults but that doesn't mean they didn't come. It affects you. Soon you're picking yourself apart every time you have to look in the mirror. Himself didn't know what to do. He still saw me exactly the same whereas I had started to see everything pointed out in those comments.


My husband became my crutch

Literally, in some instances. Honesty time... I can't walk in high heels. Can't do it. I can barely stand in them. I stand there stationary and the world is swaying. A couple of steps and I'm on my aforementioned big arse. It's not a good look. However, with blog photos, some pieces needed high heels, especially considering I'm only 5ft. Cue me having to hobble, hanging off my husband's arm, whilst he tried to balance my coat (it got very, very cold sometimes, especially when you were shooting something sleeveless in the middle of January!), a camera and me... in heels. I sprained my ankle more times than I care to remember. Heels. On gravel. What on earth do we be thinking girls?


My husband became my proof reader

I made him proof read every single post. I'm sure he didn't mind, once upon a time, but when I'd increased the frequency of my posts well... I'm sure it wasn't his idea of a good time sitting down to read a fashion blog every day. He did though. Gotta hand it to him.


My husband became my deputy editor

Even worse than having to proof read the posts, he had to help me edit images and choose which images to use. We never, ever, agreed on this point. I liked the more demure shots whilst he enjoyed (ahem) the more sassy looking photos, the ones I deemed terrible actually. You could be sure that if I thought a photo was incredibly bad, he loved it.


I took over his wardrobe space

It's not like my husband had heaps of wardrobe space to begin with but with my collection of beautiful dresses rapidly expanding, he found he was fast losing space (for all his band t shirts) and he wasn't impressed. I already had more wardrobe space than he did and soon I had 2 wardrobes plus I took over his drawers as well. I don't think it was at all appreciated, especially considering I rarely wore said dresses after photographing them. I just didn't go anywhere and much as though I'd love to be the type of girl to sit around in pretty dresses at home all week long, I'd rather be in something a little more comfortable.

How fashion blogging nearly killed my relationship, exposure therapy, The Agoraphobic Fashionista, The Style Guide Blog, style blog, fashion blog

After all of that, was it worth it? Yes and no. I can wholeheartedly say I proved something to myself, I was determined to make it work for so long and the exposure therapy fashion blogging provided me with did help in the long run. I pushed myself further than I ever thought I would go and that's something I'm very proud of.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, himself and me? We're just fine now!

Alternative fun family photo shoot, alternative wedding photography NI, Honey and The Moon Photography
Photo c/o Honey and the Moon Photography
  
Will I return to fashion blogging? Who knows!
Never say never...



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